Did you know that you don’t have to think about every thought that comes into your mind? There is no obligation whatsoever to entertain every thought you have. “But Cari, I can’t help it. I can’t just turn them off.” This is true…and also the reason why so many people abuse drugs and alcohol. They want to turn off their rampantly running wild minds. Many people have suffered through terrible offenses, unspeakable tragedies and undeservedly hard lives. If this is you, please seek therapy from a licensed therapist.
However, if you are an average person with an average life and things aren’t going so well for you, it may be time to audit your thoughts. You may not be able to turn them off but you do have the power to control them! You actually have the choice to think about anything you want, so why waste this precious life thinking negative, hateful, self-defeating thoughts or ruminating about things in the past and stuff you can’t change?
YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS. YOU ARE AN OBSERVER.
It is your job to observe your thoughts. After observing a thought, you are the only one who gets to choose whether or not you wish to continue thinking about it! Is the thought true? Or is it just an opinion that you believe? Does the thought make you feel great? Or does it bring up undesirable emotions? Beliefs are things we have thought over and over again so many times that we no longer question it. It is the nature of the universe to show you evidence of the things you’ve chosen to believe. If this is true, then choose a better thought! It really is that simple.
Here’s the formula. Step 1: When you observe a thought that you don’t want to think, stop and be curious about it. Where did that thought come from? Why does it feel bad? Is it your own tone of voice or someone else’s? Step 2: TAKE YOUR POWER BACK! Take the sting out of that thought by getting rebellious and talking back to it. Tell it NO. You may even want to say it out loud. Step 3: You must replace the unwanted thought with a new thought. I usually use a Bible verse, or several, to overpower thoughts that don’t serve me. You don’t have to use holy scripture but you must come up with a new and better truth. You can’t skip this step. Yank that old thought out by the roots and plant a new a better one in the fresh soil of your mind.
Here’s a basic example: “I’ll never be as pretty, thin, popular, etc as my friends.” “NOPE. Stop. That’s a lie. Those things are not what’s most important in life.” “I am perfect and beautiful just as I am. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am made in the image of Almighty God. God’s plans are to prosper and not harm me.”
After you master the task of reminding your thoughts that you are the one in control, here’s how you’ll know it: You will begin to react more calmly to unwanted thoughts and the bad feelings they create. Now, I simply tell my nasty thoughts “nope! not going there today.” I declare my replacement thoughts, sometimes out loud, then I go about my day feeling better instantly.
Things happen and we have thoughts about those things. Sometimes, the trouble with those thoughts is that they cause us to have an emotional response. It’s the emotions that create our whole experience in life! Emotions really are vibrations. They attract like vibrations and repel opposite vibrations. Our emotions cause us to act certain ways. The outcome of this equation validates our beliefs about life and gives us more of the same. If you’ve ever felt stuck, this is what’s going on.
My skill is helping others root out their most disempowering thoughts and beliefs and then guiding them to create new empowering affirmative beliefs to replace them with. You will be surprised at how quickly your life can improve just by changing a single thought pattern. Book a session with me and give it a shot!